Paper People by Lisa Dietz
I was reading the 10th place winner of Writer’s Digest nonfiction contest. The piece is entitled “Paper People” and will soon be published in The Awakenings Review. I’ll be honest. I read it because I liked the title. I liked the alliteration and the overall mystique behind people made of paper. In reality, this narrative recounted a day in the life of the author’s stay in a psychiatric ward. The people who cut themselves were forced to wear paper gowns as a preventative means for future self-inflicted injuries.
It took me until the very end of the narrative to see any promise of a conflict. The beginning and middle of the story was filled with descriptions for description’s sake. I learned more about the appearance of the nurse than Leslie, the girl who ended up cutting herself at the end of the narrative. I would have liked to have had more details about her relationship with Leslie rather than how unrelated characters looked/walked/had their hair parted. In fact, now that I look back, I question if Leslie even cut herself, or if the nurses are hitting her. However, I’m not directly told what is going on, and I don’t like making assumptions like this. I want to be in the loop--know what's happening.
I think this piece is a means to learn to only include valuable scenes in my piece. I have no idea why some details were included. What did having to get bread from her locker comment on the stay in the psychiatric ward? Also don’t judge a story by its title...even if it has alliteration. :(
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